Location

4762 Chicago Ave. S., Minneapolis
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Ratings

Pros

Excellent bread and pastries; Pizza Biga is attached.

Cons

Blindingly bright morning sunlight makes working on a computer difficult; less-than-great coffee.

Review

My first choice for today’s review was Sovereign Grounds. But with its kid-friendly emphasis, and me on strictly non-kid time at the moment, the last thing I needed was a bunch of screaming mayhem. OK, that’s a bit unfair — in the couple of times I’ve been to Sovereign Grounds before, it was not like walking into a Chuck E. Cheese. But there were just enough kids, noise, and related mayhem that it just didn’t feel like the vibe I was after today.

Instead, I headed diagonally across the bustling Chicago and 48th intersection to the block housing Cafe Levain, Turtle Bread Company, and Pizza Biga. Of the three, Pizza Biga is my usual destination. But as of last week I’m on a strict self-imposed “no cheese” diet, so a delicious Neapolitan pizza is not in my immediate future. Today I’m reviewing Turtle Bread Company.

Turtle Bread Company has three Minneapolis locations, including a Linden Hills shop and one in the skyway downtown. But the shop on Chicago Ave. is their primary location. The space is large and open, divided equally between the bakery kitchen and the storefront/seating area. Overall the impression is of a classic old-time bakery, and it feels a bit like you’re sitting right in the kitchen. Banging pans and rumbling coolers contribute more to the ambience of the place than the chatter of patrons.

I don’t really think of Turtle Bread first and foremost as a “coffeehouse” — it’s a bakery. When I think of it, I think of sandwiches and cakes. But a full range of espresso and brewed coffee drinks are available, along with food, seating, newspapers, WiFi… all of the amenities of a coffeehouse. And even though it’s technically a “chain,” with three locations, it’s enough of a local institution that it seems worthy of a review here.

So, how does Turtle Bread stack up against the other coffeehouses I’ve reviewed? My impression is mixed. I haven’t had anything to eat (yet), but I know from past experience that the food is good. This is my first time trying their coffee, and frankly I’m underwhelmed… to the point where I’m issuing my first half-star rating on an individual criterion in a review here. The coffee is too good for two stars, but three stars seems like a bit of a stretch.

In the past, I’ve been here in the evening, so I had not experienced the intense solar assault that the east-facing storefront presents in the morning. I suppose if you like to wake up with a strong coffee and the morning paper (and you deem the StarTribune somehow still worth reading), then basking in the sunlight streaming into Turtle Bread might be a great way to start your day. But if you’re a cave-dwelling cyberdweeb like me, being forced to sit in the direct sunlight, squinting at your computer screen (since the only customer-accessible outlets are along the east wall) makes for a headache-inducing exercise in frustration.

As I’ve noted before, my reviews are often highly subjective and dependent too an unfair degree upon my fickle moods. I’m on a bit of a tear in that regard today, so it’s perhaps a disservice to Turtle Bread that I’ve descended upon them today for what may be an unduly harsh review. Factor that into your future decisions to visit Turtle Bread. It’s a great place to pick up some pastries, a nice evening dessert stop after dinner and a movie in the area (though I’ll admit I’ve never attended a screening at the Parkway — I just can’t seem to coordinate with their erratic schedule), and, well… Pizza Biga is right there. I love their pizza, and recommend checking it out if you haven’t already. But as a daytime coffeehouse/mobile office, Turtle Bread is not likely to be a place I’ll return to soon.